Thirty years on, and suddenly my life feels like it’s hit a pause. The thought lingers: am I where I’m supposed to be? I search for that long-lost feeling of belongingness and comfort I once knew, but it’s just not here – not in this very moment, nor in this century.
As I look around, my life flashes before me. Places I’ve been, people I’ve met. I’ve experienced a lot, been through a lot. Everything fits, then it doesn’t. I long for a time with fewer distractions, when life was slow, quiet, and without haste. Sitting for 20 minutes straight without interruption seems like a luxury today – it requires constant focus and persistence. Frankly, it’s draining the life out of me.
Maybe I’m just an old soul, born centuries too late.
Old photos and stories fascinate me, and make me wonder what it would have been like to live during those times. I know there were wars, scarcity, pandemics – things you’d never wish for. But then again, life today isn’t much different, is it?
THE NEVER-ENDING NOTIFICATIONS
I’ve tried turning off notifications, bundling them to scheduled times, and simply not opening them at all. But I still end up knowing the latest trends and memes from the people around me. With my current life situation, giving up technology is not an option at all.
THE INSTANT GRATIFICATION
Almost everything now can be delivered, as quickly as possible, regardless of distance. Messages and videos can be sent worldwide in seconds. We can have instant meals, and curiosity can be fed by a simple internet search. Well, I’ve used all those perks to my heart’s content, but I guess I just don’t want everything to be that fast-paced.
THE CONSTANT CHATTER
There is always something fun around the corner: an event someplace else, some great news (or bad). There is always something happening, and almost everything comes your way. News travels fast, the chatter never ends. There are so many sides to the story, and everyone has something to say. Whether you like it or not, you will hear it directly or from someone else who knows someone who knows someone.
THE TANGLED CONNECTION
Social media straight out shows you how connected we are. You probably have friends whom you have over a thousand common friends, who may also have plenty of other common friends, and so on. Sadly, it also shows how disconnected we are. If you look at it, you’ll see that of all those ‘friends,’ you only hang out closely with a small group of them. We are connected, yes, but not as deeply as I want my connections to be.
Growing up in the 90s was fun. I enjoyed a no-tech childhood yet was exposed enough to then-startup techs during my teens to navigate today’s world. I’ve experienced slow, serene moments, and complete darkness as night falls. I miss that, and at the same time, it makes me wonder: how was it centuries before that, when the world was small and we were fuelled by curiosity with no immediate answers at bay? It must have been a thought-provoking time.
Living in a bustling city, having a designated ‘me’ space is a necessity for me. It doesn’t matter how small the space is, as long as I can have peace. Eventually moving to a regional city was a huge decision, but it gave me the serenity I’ve always wanted.
Humans indeed are weird, unpredictable, and curious beings. We are always searching for something that’s not there. Well, I am searching for that Goldilocks spot where I don’t feel like I’m bumping into a wall whenever my deep, longing thoughts find me.
I may have been born centuries too late, but maybe I’m here for a reason.
